When Does Grace Abound?

Dear Friend,

As an older and very pregnant grandma, I hope I can offer you some encouragement. Something we all have to remind ourselves of is that God's grace is always here for us now, not for thinking about the future or dwelling on the past. 

I look back and think, how did I ever get through certain periods of my life --yet God's grace was there for me then and He was faithful to take care of all the details of my life, one day at a time, as I kept my trust and focus on Him and His ever-faithful Word. 

Same thing for the future --it's impossible to imagine just how everything will turn out and it's impossible to experience the grace to handle it before we need it! None of us knows for certain the future, the Lord could come back any moment, this may be your last baby!

Pregnancy hormones are definitely a part of it all, too. While you're pregnant is generally not the time to think about going through it all again. But when you're finally holding that new little one in your arms...well, that's another story sometimes. Years ago, after probably my worst labor and time of recovery --I caught myself thinking of future baby names. God's grace and strength in us is remarkable!

As for your fears about having children close together --our older four were very close together and our (now middle) two were also close together and it was a precious time to focus on so many little ones. They were such good buddies, too, and still are best of friends. I think with God's grace and wisdom, it can be a fantastic experience! 

In fact, that's something that I've had to deal with now that we are having this precious little "bonus-mid-life" blessing, he or she will not have another sibling close in age unless the Lord decides to work another miracle (which, with God, nothing is impossible --but I'm not able to even think in terms of that right now either). Of course, our little one can play with our granddaughter who is close in age, she just won't live in the same house. 

Take each day as it comes and do so in the strength and grace of our Lord, knowing that He will continue to give you and your husband wisdom! You don't have to figure everything out now. He's got you covered! Trust Him. 

In His Love,

Tamara 

 

---

His Perspective; His Plan

Dear Friend,

I'm currently a pregnant grandma, expecting our 7th blessing --a wonderful "midlife bonus blessing" from the Lord. While our other six children are either grown or half-grown, I've had plenty of experience lately babysitting our granddaughter who lives nearby and I'm really looking forward to having a baby in the house full-time again in a few months!

When we committed our family planning to the Lord before marriage, we had no idea how the Lord would arrange our children's births into basically three "batches" --we went from having to pray fervently for a baby to having four close together and then a God-given gap of several years and then another "batch" of two close together and then many years and here we are again, expecting our seventh! (Long after all the maternity and baby things were given away. )

When you look at the stats on women conceiving naturally after forty, it makes it even more of a miracle to know how very much the Lord must have wanted these precious lives brought into the world! It may surprise us at times, but He has known before the foundation of the world and He has a unique plan for these lives that only they can fulfill. Truly it is God Who opens and closes the womb and He is able to bless us exceedingly abundantly above all that we are able to think or ask! (A little over a year ago, I had asked Him to bring a baby into our lives --when our son and his wife announced soon afterwards they were expecting, I thought that was my answer! But God had even more surprises in store!)

Remember your hormones are affecting your emotions right now and soon you will be so used to the idea of a new little one that you won't be able to imagine why you even had any qualms about it in the first place.

As far as your health --this is a perfect time to make sure you're eating very healthy foods and exercising and keeping your trust in the Lord and meditating on His Word, instead of the junk that is sometimes out there to frighten more mature expectant moms. The vast majority of older mothers have safe, healthy pregnancies and births --how much more can we rely upon our Heavenly Father to watch over us and protect us when He has caused this precious miracle of conception to occur!

I have been doing very well physically and I am praying for you and for all of us older expectant moms, that He will bless us with healthy pregnancies and healthy babies and good health for ourselves --and we already know we can depend upon Him for all the grace and strength we need to carry out His plans for us.

After all, none of us are as old as Sarah yet. ;-)
And she was EXTREMELY blessed in her old age!

I'm praying the Lord encourages you in His Word and brings positive godly people across your path to bless and encourage you, too. It seems everyone has a story to tell me about a wonderful older mom who gave birth! (And that was particularly encouraging to me in the first trimester when I had to battle fears and concerns and remember to keep God's perspective!) Keep your focus on Him!

In His Love,
Tamara

 

---

The Shock of Discovery

Dear Friend,

Are you feeling in shock because you've just discovered you're expecting? I can identify with those feelings. For days I had been feeling unlike myself --like I was on an emotional roller coaster. While I didn't allow myself to give into all my feelings --it was obvious that something was way different. I was hoping it wasn't something that I had to look forward to for the next few years until menopause kicked in fully! At least I soon discovered I wasn't nearly as close to "the change" as I thought --but oh did the Lord have another change in store for me!

After I saw the positive results of the home pregnancy test, I immediately began to strengthen myself in the Lord by pulling out my Bible and spending time with Him. My mind was so full of confusing thoughts --I was tempted to be overwhelmed by anxious thoughts even while I was filled with joy at the idea of a new baby after all these years. We would be starting all over again and I was tempted to be concerned about finances and my health and my age and all those details the enemy loves to suggest might go wrong. I had to choose to reject those thoughts and refuse to entertain them. The following scripture (quoted below from the Amplified Bible) was so helpful for me to meditate upon instead!

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. "

Later I found an encouraging commentary from Joyce Meyer on this passage:

"To me, finding rest, relief, ease, refreshment, recreation, and blessed quiet for my soul means finding freedom from mental activity. It means not having to live in the torment of reasoning, always trying to come up with an answer I don't have. I don't have to worry, instead, I can remain in a place of quiet peace and rest." 

I jotted down these quotes on index cards and put them up so I could see them several times a day! [See "Renewing Your Mind" in the Encouragement Section for more help in this area..]

What a freedom to experience peace and comfort from the Lord instead of anxiety! And how faithful the Lord was to take care of  all the details. He will never fail! You can trust Him, too.

In His Love,
Tamara

 

---

Overcoming Fear and Negative Emotions

Dear Friend,

 First of all, congratulations! A new precious little one planned for you before the foundation of the world! Secondly, you know feelings and hormones are crazy at this time so no wonder you have such a mixture of feelings about your news. The enemy also loves to try to plant all those fears and negative emotions in a last-ditch effort to discredit God's precious blessing--this new little son or daughter He is adding to your family now. The enemy would like to distract you from the marvelous plans the Lord has for you and cause you to focus instead on all the things that could go wrong and your age and the fact that you're already so busy with the children you have, etc.,  I know, I've been there, too, and I was older than you!  

 I doubt there is anyone on earth who loves and appreciates children more than I do, yet, I also faced similar feelings when I first discovered I was expecting again. Here we were settled into our new role as grandparents, My husband's salary had recently been eliminated due to financial problems in the company he worked for and we were trusting God day by day for His provision. Whew! What timing --HIS TIMING!  The Lord "planned" all of our children and He surprised us on more than one occasion but, in hindsight, OH what WISDOM He has and how blessed we have been every step of the way! He abundantly blessed and worked out every detail far better than I could have even dreamed. We thank the Lord daily for His precious mid-life blessing --Caitlin is pure joy and well worth having this major lifestyle change. 

It's not a sin to be tempted to worry or fear or be disappointed , it is only a sin if we allow it to dominate our thinking by giving into these thoughts and not battle against them. The way I battled was by choosing carefully what I allowed in my mind during this time --and in the eye gate and ear gate, too. I didn't read all those "wonderful" books about pregnancy after 40 (or 35). I didn't share my news at first with those who would be negative, I didn't need their thoughts! I stayed in the Word and started a specific prayer journal where I also jotted down notes from my Bible studies related to pregnancy and birth, etc.,  I read positive articles on the joys of pregnancy and having loads of children (Above Rubies with Nancy Campbell is a great site --linked from the CHFWeb.com mall area. She emailed me such a precious encouraging letter when I wrote her of our good news. She also has a wonderful newsletter she sends out via email.) 

I was really alone, too, in that none of my friends had babies this old or even this many children. I didn't know anyone already who had more than five either who lived near us, much less seven.  I remember going to the library soon after discovering I was expecting this last time and feeling like bursting into tears because there was a very young expectant mom there and she looked so YOUNG and I felt so OLD in comparison. <grin> Then I couldn't find any books in the library that were positive about older moms' pregnancies. When I got home and shared this with William, he told me of how he'd gone out to lunch with a friend who was so happy for us and his wife had had their last child in her forties and he mentioned how Dr. Kevin Lehman and his wife had their last two children when she was 42 and 47 and that was so encouraging. Well, I felt so alone, here he was even surrounded by encouragement and I had had such a day of battles --I broke down and cried. <grin> It was definitely HORMONES! 

Soon afterwards a sweet online friend who had also had babies in her "old age" emailed me to encourage me that soon the hormones would settle down and she was so right. (Even though the crazy emotions did try to surface every now and then later on, too. For the most part, it got much easier!)  And the Lord blessed me with a perfect pregnancy and healthy baby. I make sure I eat well and get enough rest, but honestly, I've had as much or more energy since Caitlin was born as I did with the babies I had in the early years. God has mercy on us older moms and gives us more grace! 

Well I could go on and on but I'm now having to type this with one hand while nursing so it's getting harder and filled with typos!  I will be blessed to support you in prayer (this goes for everyone reading this who emails me or posts a prayer request on the SheLaughed message board!) and trust God with you for His joy and strength to be yours and for a healthy baby and mama with a wonderful pregnancy and delivery. Please feel free to email me any specific prayer requests!  

See if your library has _Be Anxious For Nothing_ by Joyce Meyer --very positive and relevant . I read it during the first weeks of my last pregnancy.  If you can't find a copy at the library, buy one --it's well worth it! Keep me posted on how you're doing, you'll be in my prayers along with your precious little new baby! 

Love and Hugs in Jesus,
Tamara

---

The First Few Weeks--Feeling Drained

Dear Friend,

Don't be discouraged. The first few weeks of pregnancy were the hardest for me as far as feeling so drained and sleepy all the time --thankfully frequent healthy small meals kept me going along with getting enough sleep. Taking a nap each afternoon or at least resting helped, too. 

Cut down all unnecessary activities for a while so you can get enough rest! So far that's the main difference I've noticed between the pregnancies in my 20's and 30's and 40's (although granted, it's been so long I might not remember clearly how tired I was the first few weeks in my earlier pregnancies!).

Now in my second trimester, my energy level has picked up tremendously! (Now it's just been a challenge to find things in my closet that actually fit, I no longer had a closet full of elastic-waisted dresses like I did back in the days of constant pregnancies. ;-) ) But this is all temporary and a new baby is well worth it!   [And OH was she ever worth it --what a precious treasure of a little girl! --Tamara 1/12/03]

In His Love,

Tamara 

All you older moms who have gone though this, or are going through this, please  email me your positive thoughts and ideas on having babies after forty and we'll share your encouraging thoughts with other moms here!